Portland

(Words and Music by Leyth Mulla & Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

(Fall in love with me)

I am known by many names
Whispered in the night
I am glamour and I am fame
I am love and I am light

I will come to you in dreams
Serpent smile on supple skin
Breathe in what you seek
And my magic will begin

You’ll fall in love with me

You have longed for love, my friend
In a dark and lonely place
Your desire knows no end
You’ve been dying for a taste

I will shelter you from sorrow
(I won’t shelter you)
It’s only you and me
(It’s never you and me)
Forget about tomorrow
(There is no tomorrow)
Here is all you need

Now fall in love with me!

Ah
Fall in love with me
Fall in love with me
Love with me
Fall in love with me (fall in love with me)
Fall in love with me
With me

Fall in love with me

(Words and Music by Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

The old man stands between
His failure and his dream
He turns, as if to say
And though he’s worn and gray
There may come a day
Where he will play the scene

And it’s just another
Open ended story
He is just another
Actor in the play

Finished from the start
Or so they say

A girl, so young and fair
She brushes back her hair
She doesn’t seem to know
She is there to see the show
And though she’s all alone
She doesn’t even see him there

And it’s just another
Open ended story
He is just another
Actor in the play

Finished from the start
Or so they say

She reaches out to comfort me
There is so much I can share
And to all of those freezing out there
Don’t be so unaware
Or afraid to care

(Just another open ended story
Just another actor in the play)

Standing naked in the light
She is longing for my touch
In one moment of unbridled passion
The line between love and loss
Is forever crossed

So with my guitar in hand
I promise her the band
And fill her with delight
Then everything’s alright
Her smile is wide and bright
Because she doesn’t understand

That it’s just another
Open ended story
It was just another
Fantasy of mine

This one worked out well
And that’s just fine

And it’s just another
Open ended story
It was just another
Fantasy of mine

And this one worked out well
And that’s just fine

(Words by Clint Kaster
Music by Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

“Mother” was a song that Chris had played for me a couple of days earlier.  The big line in the song called out to the death of his mother from emphysema when he was very young.  “Sitting in your lap/Your lungs collapse.  Until this day/It’s held me back.”

This old house in Portland
Across the river
Above the rising bluffs
The paint started dark
Faded and peeled
Only musicians
Would rent it in the winter

Chris had played me a song
Written in his youth
How emphysema
Had taken his Mom

And it still brings
Tears to my eyes
When I hear his song
Every time
Yes, it still brings
Tears to my eyes
When I hear it
Every time

I still get teary-eyed every time I hear this song.  It’s been… 20 years?  The surreal counterpoint, floaty guitar work from Stu and Bevan’s rock solid drumming just make it perfect.  I didn’t miss Paul at all.

I sat in the bedroom
With my mixing console
A couple of beers
And a good tape deck
They were lamenting
Their douchebag guitarist
Whose fine white powder
Improved not a thing

Chris had played me a song
Written in his youth
How emphysema
Had taken his Mom

And it still brings
Tears to my eyes
When I hear his song
Every time
Yes, it still brings
A tear to my eye
When I hear it
Every time

“Sitting in your lap
Your lungs collapse
Until this day
It’s held me back”

I still cry, I cry
I still cry, cry

(Words and Music by Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

Pick me a poison
And show me how it goes
Heated ‘till it’s boiling
Or frozen into snow

I’m testing all my limits
As fast as blood will flow
I’ll sacrifice my senses
To conquer the unknown

I can never get enough

Magical feelings
In a dark, forbidden game
Anxieties deserting me
Like pleasure fleeing pain

It warms me when I’m freezing
And shields me from the rain
Safely in its clutches
The master holds its slave

I can never get enough
I can never get enough
No, I can never get enough
I can never get enough

It’s a cold paranoia
That grips me in my sleep
(I can’t sleep)
Creatures crawling on my arms
Laughing as I bleed
(I’m bleeding out)
Mirrors bending walls
In a fever born of fear
(I’m so afraid)
Matches burn my body
Death so white and clear
(Don’t let me die)

With one thought in my head
As I stumble for the door
Is there any left, and
Where can I get more?

(I need more, just one more)

Stashed behind the sink
Or burning on a chair
Anytime, anything
Any and everywhere

No need to supersede
This sordid love affair
I could lie here dying
And nobody would care

I can never get enough
I can never get enough
I can never get enough
I can never get enough
I can never get enough
(A cold paranoia grips me in my sleep)
I can never get enough
(Creatures crawling on my arms laughing as I bleed)
I can never get enough
(Mirrors bending walls in a fever born of fear)
I can never get enough
(Matches burn my body, death so white and clear)
I can never get enough
(One thought in my head as I stumble for the door)
I can never get enough
(Is there any left and where can I get more)
I can never get enough

I can never get enough
I can never get enough

(Words by Clint Kaster & Todd Whisler
Music by Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

There are no other
Words I could say here 
Above you and below you 
Things are so clear

There were other days 
Strong, divisive ways
Together from the start
Now clearly apart

There is no other
Place I could be now
Buried in the sea
Alone at the bow

And when we were together
Heading for whatever
Promises are empty words
Now here we are apart

As the ship of memories
Crashes on the shore
Contemplate what used to be
Behind the cabin door

Clearly in time (clearly in time)
Cloven in heart (cloven in heart)
So close together (so close together)
Clearly apart (clearly apart)

Broken and shattered
Words I could say here
Above and below you
Things are so clear

There were other days
Strong, divisive waves
Together from the start
Now clearly apart

And all that I can do tonight
Is wonder if it’s true
That in your dreams you will see me
Just like I see you
Clearly in time (clearly in time)
Cloven in heart (cloven in heart)
So close together (so close together)
Clearly apart (clearly apart)

Clearly in time (clearly in time)
Cloven in heart (cloven in heart)
So close together (so close together)
Clearly apart

(Words by Clint Kaster
Music by Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

Songbird in the light
Wires under wing
The stars have yet
To pierce the clouds
Leading her to sing

They lead her to sing

A songbird of the evening
Drifting towards the night
The stars have yet
To pierce the clouds
And watch her in full flight

They watch her in full flight

The songbird hunts beyond the music
Only she can see
The songbird hunts beyond the music
Only she can hear

Only she can hear

Eyes don’t look at you
The way they look at me
In the fog of war
Her lover’s in the trees
Wrapped so tightly
In the wires of despair
Frozen only
On the stranger’s stare

She is the songbird
She is the songbird
She is the songbird
She’s startled into flight

She is the songbird
She is the songbird
She is the songbird
She’s startled into flight

The songbird hunts beyond the music
Only she can see
The songbird hunts beyond the music
Only she can hear

Only she can hear

(Words and Music by Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

The fields were filled with winter’s
Lone, last regret
The triumph of the tragedy
I never will forget

The fields are filled with arctic
Looks and arctic air
Stripped I lie, defenseless
And no one seems to care

Remember forever
Remember forever
Remember forever
Remember forever

She taunts me as I wander
Through these virgin fields
I cannot stop for rest, or I
Fall victim
To the power
She wields

Remember forever
Remember forever
Remember forever
Remember forever

I failed the test of manhood
Given by my peers
By friends who’ve lived
To vanquish me
For all of fourteen years

Remember forever
Remember forever
Remember forever
Remember forever

I love you as my savior
In winter’s deepest freeze
I’m placed at your disposal
For you
To do with me
As you please

Remember forever
Remember forever
Remember forever
Remember forever

(Words and Music by Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

Unleash something primal
And lose it on the world
Descend into darkness
Blame it on a girl

A need that grows too early
Central to the core
Stymie the desire
Not knowing what for

All my needs feed my fears
The origin of war
Instinctively, inherently
Indispensable

It’s the cardinal of cravings
The unoriginal sin
The initial instinct
The first time you give in

These primitive pursuits
A fire in your soul
The earliest inception
That rocks you to your core

It is the clasp
You cannot fasten
It is the answer
You can’t fathom
It is the needle
In the haystack
That you’re taking
A roll in

You know it’s just like water
Rushing the dam
Just like water
Overwhelms the dam
Emotions are like water
Spills over the dam
Like water runs
As only water can

(Words by Clint Kaster
Music by Todd Whisler & Tom Quatraro)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

In times of wanting
In times of need
The willow grove
Shades secrets 
Deep in the night
Passion’s bright
Depending on
Forgotten life

We were hiding there
Hid our secrets there
Now I close my eyes

Ooo it is sweet
Your eyes, your lips like wine
And on our fingertips
Temptation is divine

To crawl inside a bottle again
It came so easily
Fooled and forgotten
It wasn’t up to me 

We were hiding there
Hid our secrets there
Now I close my eyes

Ooo it is sweet
Your eyes, your lips like wine
And on our fingertips
Temptation is divine

Days we lost are gone again
And that’s OK
We will leave them broke behind
And that’s OK

Ooo it is sweet
Your eyes, your lips like wine
(Just like wine)
And on our fingertips

Temptation is just fine

(Words and Music by Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

Take your place
On the bed
Not another
Word is said

When the fog
Descends in the room
A keyboard and a squeaky chair
They speak the truth
They speak the truth
They speak the truth

Place your hand
Into position
Ready to resume
Its mission

When the fog lifts
And the sun shines through
Embraced there for all to see
Are me and you
Are me and you
Are me and you

The sun shines through
(The sun shines through)
On me and you
(On me and you)
The sun shines through
(The sun shines through)
On me and you
(On me and you)
The sun shines through
(The sun shines through)
On me and you
(On me and you)

We know the truth

(Words by Todd Whisler & Tom Quatraro
Music by Todd Whisler)
Taken from the album Portland © 2017

I was born
In ’94
Into a world
So bright and true
There were good times
I remember
And some secrets
I hid, too

I met a girl
We fell in love
On a sunny
Afternoon
And we made plans
To share our story
With every
One we knew

I had hope
On Burnside

But we fought
Like cats and dogs
It was my fault
Primally
And one night
When she left me
Tore us apart
Set herself free

When I met her
She was a songbird
And a siren
In my head
The only time
I knew peace was
When I was high
Or in her bed

I was lost
On Burnside

I overdosed
On purpose
On a dirty
City street
To join
The revolution
I was only
Twenty-three

My life
I left behind
Had no hope
And no faith
My one regret
Are the people
Who will follow
In my wake

Now I lay
Me down to rest

On Burnside